Dear Self,
This is a long overdue letter, and for that I am sorry. In fact, a lot of what I have to say in this letter is about apologising. I never made a conscious choice to hurt you. And yet i have -- in so many ways. Strangely enough, my motivation for soing most of the abusive stuff i did to you was about making me --us-- feel better.
From as far back as i remember, i never felt completely normal. I would look at other girls and they just seemed better,smarter, and basically more together. I realise now that we all struggle and probably all feel like everyone else is nore blessed woth something we didnt get.
I am sorry for the way I have treated you. I am sorry for the things I have said and for the complete lack of faith i have had in you at times. I apologise for not regarding you in the way that you deserve and most of all for not placing your needs above all others. I have looked everywhere but to you for the love I need. I have done things and acted in ways that are shameful, all in the name of earning someone else's love, when all the time you were just waiting for me to look inward.
I know that our journey will be a long one, and that it will be far from easy. I am afraid that I will fail again, and there is a voice that speaks loudly warning me not to even try; that I am only asking for disappointment. But you deserve a hundred more attempts at getting it right and if that's what it takes, well then, a hundred more it will be.
I know , as you do, that the journey will be filled with steps forward, followed by steps back. But tha's okay. Each day I will wake with a renewed effort and a humble prayer for the guidance I need to get back to you and to the spirit that is truly me.
I know you forgive me and for that i am grateful. Today is a new day and, with your love and support, I will take those small, but very important, steps forward.
I really do love you,
Me
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Comments
i think i owe myself one of these, we all take ourselves for granted, never knowing exactly what we are worth, and some of us pretend were things we arnt
anyway im back in louisiana... long story
ill tell you it later
hugs
--
exist to inspire™ preschool prostitute™ con il mio amore sempre™
anyway i Love this, i think we all abuse ourselves, or pretend we are something we arnt, where who we are is the best that we can be (in most cases)
huggs, im back in louisiana, ill tell you the story later... life still sucks but gotta keep your head up
hopefully this shows up
--
exist to inspire™ preschool prostitute™ con il mio amore sempre™
but because its a great idea and a great concept
of how we need to look at ourselves with more respect.
we need to see how much we really are worth.
jeanette
--
Cos these are the days of our lives
They've flown in the swiftness of time
These days are all gone now but some things remain
When I look and I find no change
-inuendo, queen.
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